1 in 7 adults have been through this. Almost none of them told anyone.

Every Friday, Kay Reports uncovers global dating scams, emotional red flags, and digital deception — so you can date smarter, not harder.

1 in 7 adults have been through this. Almost none of them told anyone.

Sextortion is the fastest growing online crime. It starts exactly like a normal date.

A study published in June 2026 found that 14.5% of adults have experienced sextortion. That is 1 in 7 people.

The same study found that men, younger adults, and LGBTQIA+ individuals are disproportionately affected. INTERPOL's 2025 Cyber Threat Assessment listed it as one of the top three fastest growing crimes globally. The FBI has seen reports surge year on year. Ireland's Garda detective superintendent told national television in April 2026 that it is something they are seeing increased reporting of across every age group.

And yet almost nobody talks about it. Because the scam is specifically designed to make sure you never do.

How it actually starts

Sextortion does not start with a threat. It starts with a match.

The person reaches out on a dating app, a social media platform, a gaming app, or through a direct message. They are attractive. They are warm. They are interested in you specifically. Within a short time the conversation moves to intimate territory. An image is shared. Sometimes you share one back. Sometimes they use AI to generate a fake intimate image of themselves first to make you feel the exchange is mutual and safe.

Then the tone changes completely.

The threat arrives fast. Often within minutes of receiving your image. They have your contacts. They have your social media. They will send the image to your family, your employer, and your friends unless you pay. The demand is usually a specific amount, transferred immediately through an app or crypto wallet.

The scammer's most powerful weapon is not the image. It is the shame. And the shame is what they are counting on to make sure you pay, stay silent, and never report it.

Cases can escalate from first contact to active blackmail in under an hour. INTERPOL's data shows organised criminal networks operating sextortion at industrial scale out of West Africa and Southeast Asia, with dedicated recruiters, operators, and money mules. This is not opportunistic crime. It is a production line.

AI has made it significantly worse. Scammers now use AI generated profile photos that pass reverse image search. They use AI chatbots to run multiple victims simultaneously. And they use AI tools to create deepfake intimate images using publicly available photos of the victim, meaning you do not even have to have shared anything for the threat to arrive.

Who is behind it

This is not a lone individual working from a bedroom. The WeProtect Global Alliance, which tracks online child exploitation and adult sextortion globally, describes it as organised crime carried out by groups predominantly operating out of West Africa and Southeast Asia.

Each operation has roles. Recruiters find targets. Operators run the profiles and the conversations. Money mules collect and move the funds. The person you are talking to may be running dozens of targets at the same time using AI assisted scripts and translation tools.

The FBI's most recent data shows that 79% of sextortion perpetrators seek money rather than additional images. This is financial crime using intimacy as the mechanism. The romantic interest was never real. The vulnerability it created is.

The red flags

🚩 It moves to intimate conversation very fast.

The average sextortion approach escalates from first contact to intimate content within one or two conversations. Real connections take time. If someone you have just matched with is pushing the conversation toward intimate territory before you have exchanged more than a few messages, that pace is the signal.

🚩 They send intimate images first to create reciprocity.

The scammer sends first to establish apparent trust and mutual vulnerability. What they send is either stolen from another person or AI generated. The feeling that they went first so it is safe for you to is precisely what the technique is designed to create. It is not trust. It is a trap.

🚩 The profile is too attractive and too available.

Sextortion profiles are typically very attractive, very responsive, and available at unusual hours. They respond instantly at any time because in many cases an AI chatbot or a team of operators is running multiple targets simultaneously. Real people have lives. Real people sometimes take hours to reply.

🚩 They push to move off the dating platform quickly.

Moving to WhatsApp, Telegram, or a private messaging app removes you from any platform moderation. It also makes the conversation harder to trace and report. We covered this pattern in our edition on AI and dating app fraud. Scammers of every kind want you off the platform fast. That urgency is always worth pausing on.

🚩 You feel ashamed before anything has even happened.

This one is worth naming. If a conversation has reached a point where you feel you could not tell a friend what you have been discussing, that feeling is useful information. It does not mean you have done something wrong. It means you are in a situation that has been deliberately constructed to make you feel isolated. Isolation is the scammer's operating environment. We wrote about this isolation mechanism in our edition on why smart people fall for romance fraud.

When it is not sextortion

Not every intimate conversation online is a scam. Not every person who moves quickly is a criminal. Consensual adult relationships that begin online and involve intimate communication are not inherently dangerous.

The difference is in the structure. In a genuine connection, both people feel equally free. Neither person is creating pressure or urgency. Neither person is asking for something that feels slightly off. The intimacy develops alongside actual knowledge of each other as people, not instead of it.

The green flags in this context look like this.

The person exists verifiably across multiple platforms with a history that predates your match. They are willing to video call consistently without technical drama. The conversation covers real life in both directions, not just intimacy. Nothing about the interaction creates a feeling of pressure or debt. And if you said you were not comfortable continuing in a certain direction, the response would be acceptance, not escalation.

The Kay Reports rule

If it happens, do not pay. Payment does not end sextortion. It confirms you will pay and opens the door to repeated demands. Report it immediately. Tell someone you trust. The shame is the weapon. Removing the shame removes the power.

If this has happened to you or someone you know

Do not pay. Payment almost never ends the demands and often increases them.

Do not delete anything. Screenshots of the conversation, the profile, and the threat are evidence. Keep them before you report.

Report it now.

UK: Action Fraud at actionfraud.police.uk or call 0300 123 2040.

US: FBI at ic3.gov or the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at cybertipline.org.

India: cybercrime.gov.in or call 1930.

Ireland: An Garda Siochana at garda.ie or call 1800 555 222.

Global: Report to your national cybercrime authority and to the platform directly. Most major platforms have a dedicated sextortion reporting pathway.

🤖 Tools that can help

🎙️ Fireflies.ai

Record and transcribe your video calls before any trust is established. If someone refuses a live unscripted video call or their video call feels slightly off in timing or expression, that is important information worth having on record.

⚙️ Make

Build a quick automation to search a new match's username, phone number, and any contact details across Google and known scam databases before the conversation goes anywhere personal. Fifteen minutes of setup, seconds to run every time.

📋 Typeform

Create a simple pre-date checklist you run through before moving any conversation off a dating platform. If you cannot answer basic verification questions about this person from public information, the conversation stays on the platform.

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Kay Reports — Date smarter, not harder. Every Friday. kayreports.com